The 23rd Psalm of NCIS
by finlaure
Summary: How does the team handle another death in the family? Not really a sad fic, please give it a chance. Spoilers for the entire series
1. Chapter 1

Prologue for The 23rd Psalm of NCIS

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Disclaimer—I do not own NCIS, the characters or much anything else for that matter. What I do have are my dreams and my imagination. Spoiler Warnings for the entire show from beginning to this season's end. I also firmly believe in a writers claim to artistic freedom. I have tried to stick to what I know is canon in these stories, but sometimes in order for the story to really work I will need a little wiggle room. So I won't ask forgiveness, just patience and a little understanding.

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A/N 1—This is very different for me in that this work will be a set of six very short stories linked together to form a complete piece. The chapters will involve what_** I**_ consider to be the six main characters of NCIS. I have assigned each member one verse from the 23 Psalm of David. This version is from The Ryrie Study Bible King James Version; copyright 1976, 1978 The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago. I have put the entire 23rd Psalm in this prologue for reference. From then on I will only put the specific verse of the Psalm I am using at the first of that character's chapter.

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**The 23rd Psalm of the NCIS**

The NCIS team gathered close around the open grave. Each person silently listened to the words of the priest as the clouds gathered overhead. The sermon seemed to drone on as small drops of rain started to fall from the sky. Finally, the priest recited the words said at almost every religious funeral. But as the huddled people listened this time they each thought of how the sacred words had applied to them through their lives.

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The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

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He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters.

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He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

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Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.

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Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

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Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of Lord forever.

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A/N 2— Please understand I only go where my muse and plot bunnies lead, especially if they seem to have halos on at the time. Reviews are welcome; flamers will have to deal with a higher power.


	2. Verse One

Disclaimer—I do not own NCIS, the characters or much anything else for that matter. What I do have are my dreams and my imagination. Spoiler Warnings for the entire show from beginning to this season's end. I also firmly believe in a writers claim to artistic freedom. I have tried to stick to what I know is canon in these stories, but sometimes in order for the story to really work I will need a little wiggle room. So I won't ask forgiveness, just patience and a little understanding. Please see the Prologue for other explanations.

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The 23rd Psalms of NCIS; 1st verse—Tim

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_The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want._

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Timothy McGee had grown up thinking that his life was a little more than miserable. With his father in the Navy, he had had to leave friends every time they moved. He hated never getting to live in a house more than an average of eighteen months at a time.

He had also enjoyed being an only child for most of his childhood until his mother decided to go and have his little sister. His parents tried to spend the same amount of time with him as before, but it just wasn't the same. He had always been a little resentful of the time when the family's summer vacation plans to Houston were cancelled when his little sister got the chicken pox. He had planned to go to see NASA; instead he ended up with the chicken pox also.

He had never fit into any of the many schools he ended up attending as he was dragged around from one Navy base to another. Being smarter did not make life any easier in high school or college, especially when he would blow the class test curve. Besides, it never got him the real attention he wanted.

After joining NCIS he felt his life was going to be wasted, spent in a tiny office in Norfolk. That was until he had the misfortune of being put on _the_ most demanding of teams in the whole organization. Then as he had to put up with DiNozzo's hazing and childish attitudes, Kate's attitude of being almost over qualified and Gibbs' constant head slaps and impossible demands, he wished for that tiny office again.

When Caitlin Todd died tragically at the hands of Ari, Tim hadn't been sure if he could let in a new member of the team and a new friend. He slowly accepted Ziva David as a member of the team and Jennifer Shepard the new director of NCIS. He didn't know how to feel as he watched his writing career crumble around him as his characters not only came to life, but then were killed. He felt scared and upset when Jethro Gibbs retired after having been blown up and in a coma. He knew he felt the worst in his life when the team had been split apart immediately after the death of Director Shepard in California. Even after the team had been reunited months later he was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and his life to be ripped apart again as it had his entire life. Then it did, Ziva was ripped away from them; and he didn't even get to say good bye.

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Now as he approached that magical number 30 in his life he had come to a great many realizations in life. While he had left a great number of friends behind each time his family had moved, he had made friends all over the country and had gotten to see more of the country than most people. He had been able to see museums, zoos, state parks and other sites that other people usually didn't have time for until they were retired and almost too old to enjoy them.

He had come to love and adore his baby sister even to the point of risking his job for her. He also had finally found out from his mother that the trip to Houston had been cancelled not because of the chicken pox. His sister had developed rheumatic fever as a complication of the chicken pox. Tim had been too miserable scratching and pouting at the time to notice just how sick she had been.

He was now proud of every bit of knowledge he could use in the effort to fight crime. He was now happy for every test he had aced every time he could turn to Gibbs and say, "I have it boss." When a criminal would give up in interrogation under the facts that he had helped find; he could erase an ugly comment made by someone in a high school or college class.

Tim had come to greatly appreciate the loving family he still had when he saw the lives of his coworkers. Looking at their home lives made his similar to an episode of "Leave it to Beaver" or "Father knows best". The crime and darkness he had witnessed in his years at NCIS had now made him appreciate the protected innocence and love he had been surrounded with while growing up.

He also loved the family that the NCIS team provided. Tony's behavior had become more of a big brother than a just an annoying partner. While nothing would ever replace Kate in Tim's heart, Ziva was there now also. Abby would always be his "Almost Lover#", but more importantly now she was forever his friend. Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard had become the "Uncle" for whom he could always go to get advice or just reassurance. Ducky had even coaxed him to start his writing again once Tim figured out that it wasn't really his fault that someone else was a sick killer. Gibbs, boss, never ever comfortable with calling him Jethro, the man who had become a second father to him; that man, Tim felt the most grateful for having had come into his life. Gibbs believed in him when he stopped believing in himself after he accidently shot an undercover cop. Gibbs pushed Tim to do his best with gruffness and a number of head slaps but an understood yet unstated love and loyalty.

Yes, Tim thought to himself, the Lord is my Shepherd he has always protected me and kept me safe. I shall not want. I have always had everything I have ever needed whether I knew it or not.

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# -- reference to the song, "Good bye my Almost Lover" I always think of Tim and Abby when I hear it.


	3. Verse Two

Disclaimer—I do not own NCIS, the characters or much anything else for that matter. What I do have are my dreams and my imagination. Spoiler Warnings for the entire show from beginning to this season's end. I also firmly believe in a writers claim to artistic freedom. I have tried to stick to what I know is canon in these stories, but sometimes in order for the story to really work I will need a little wiggle room. So I won't ask forgiveness, just patience and a little understanding. Please see the Prologue for other explanations.

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The 23rd Psalms of NCIS; 2nd verse— Abby

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He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters.

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Abigail Scuito was a study in contradictions. Her outward appearance as a dark Goth drove many people to the other side of the street. Her inner bubbly personality drove other people to the limits of their patience. The tattoos on her body made many people stop and stare disapprovingly, while her loving smiles could melt the coldest hearts. Abby's spiked collars and huge boots were a façade to the fragile woman inside who longed to be held and comforted. Crossing Abby while she was on the rampage could earn you a reminder that she could kill without leaving behind any forensic evidence; while her giganormous hugs could envelope a person and drive away a dark cloud. Most people on first glance would picture her dancing in graveyards at night but they would only be partially right. Abby would party in a graveyard on Saturday night and still get up and go to church on Sunday morning. She would party at the wildest of clubs till all hours of the morning and yet she could be found bowling with some of her dearest friends who happened to be nuns. She had many friends and many close friends, but she was reluctant to give her heart away in a whim.

What only one person knew about her was that while black was her favorite color to wear; she loved nothing more than to sit in shade of large tree in a green park. Her loud screaming metal music left behind for the quiet of a Sunday afternoon beside a shaded lake or small stream. Childhood memories of sitting under trees full of Spanish Moss lazily fishing the nearby bayou helped her forget the horrors and stress of the week at work.

The only person who had ever truly cracked into her armor was her very closest friend and boss, one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The only way he had found out her true self was after years of friendship; and that one particular day of self appointed 'protection detail' as he called it after she had been targeted by a deadly stalker boyfriend. Still afraid for her safety even though the stalker had been behind bars for a long while, Gibbs, as she called him most of the time, followed her from church every Sunday afternoon to make sure she was safe. When he spotted her with his binoculars spreading out a black blanket she had carried on her arm and sitting under the shade of a large tree next to the shore line of Lake Anna, he decided to let her have her privacy. He tried to concentrate on a crossword puzzle in the Sunday paper while keeping one eye on 'his girl'. After being stuck on a clue for several minutes he looked up and saw that Abby's shoulders were shaking and she had her legs drawn up close to herself. He got his binoculars and confirmed to his concern that she was crying. Unsure as to whether he should reveal that he had been protecting her from afar all this time, the thought that Abby was crying without anyone to comfort her made up his mind for him. He quietly got out of his car and walked toward where she was sitting on the bank of the lake. He could now hear her sobs and it broke his heart that he had let her cry this long without his reassurances.

"Abby what's wrong?" Gibbs asks quietly not wanting to startle her.

"Oh, Hi Gibbs, get tired of sitting in your car?" She answers patting on the blanket next to her for him to sit down.

"How did you know I was there?" he asks surprised but then says, "That won't change my question."

"Nothing is wrong, at least nothing that either of us can change now."

"Then why were you crying?" he asked again knowing she would avoid the topic at all costs if she didn't want to answer.

"Sometimes it is just good to cry. It lets me get out everything I have to hold in all week from all that we have to see and deal with."

"So how can that not be bad?"

"I know that I am safe here. I know that you are over there watching me like you have since the first Sunday after Mikal was put in jail. And Gibbs, not many people have a yellow Charger. So I feel peaceful enough here that I can let my emotions out without worrying about anything."

"But why are you crying today Abs?" He knew she needed to say what was hurting her in order for it to start to heal.

"Well on top of everything else that has happened, today is the anniversary of my parent's deaths Gibbs." She said beginning to cry again.

"Oh Abs I'm so sorry I forgot, I knew it was this time of year but everything I forgot the date." He said drawing her closer to him.

"It's ok, you're here now." She let him hold her close while she cried out her grief for a few minutes. When she began to reach inside his coat pocket for the handkerchief she knew he kept there, he took it out for her and wiped off the tears that had made dark trails down her face.

"What is it that you like so much about this place Abby?" He asked after a few minutes of silence. He stared at the gentle waves from a passing family fishing boat.

"It reminds me of sitting in the bayous back home in New Orleans." She said as she cuddled close to his side when a cool breeze began to blow off the lake, "There were times that living in a home with deaf parents would get to be too much and I would go out and sit and stare at the water until I could find the peace I was looking for. Then I could go back and be a good daughter and care taker for them."

"But what about your music and the partying and your friends; couldn't you turn to them?" he asked as he played with one of her trade mark pigtails.

"Yeh, I did at times Gibbs. But one Sunday at church the pastor read the 23rd Psalm and the second verse just really made sense to me. So I went and tried it that afternoon. It really worked better than anything else I had ever found. Now I do my best to go out to a green place beside a quiet lake every Sunday afternoon and give myself a time to rest."

"That's good Abs," Gibbs said as he kissed the top of her head, "I'm glad you have this outlet."

"And now I always feel safer knowing that you have been watching over me."

"I think you have a lot of angels watching over you now Abby."


	4. Verse Three

Disclaimer—I do not own NCIS, the characters or much anything else for that matter. What I do have are my dreams and my imagination, and they are priceless. Spoiler Warnings for the entire show from beginning to this season's end. I also firmly believe in a writers claim to artistic freedom. I have tried to stick to what I know is canon in these stories, but sometimes in order for the story to really work I will need a little wiggle room. So I won't ask forgiveness, just patience and a little understanding. Please see the Prologue for other explanations.

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WARNING – This chapter contains description of torture, but nothing that you didn't see in the season finale. Please give it a chance.

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The 23rd Psalms of NCIS; Verse Three – Ziva David

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He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

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She listens to the sound of the approaching footsteps praying that this time they will kill her instead of torturing her any further. She has been trained her entire life to endure several different types of torture without disclosing information. Her training has served her well in Mossad and she has never given up information in any of the situations she has found herself in over the years. She knows that she will not give up information on her NCIS family, no matter what it costs her.

She knows that she can handle much more pain and torture emotionally and mentally. Her soul is the strongest part of her being. When they had ripped off her necklace a week before she thought she felt a piece of her soul leave. She rarely removed it on her own. She had denied her faith at times and even felt that she has been deserted and forgotten; still in her heart, in her soul she knows differently. Ziva knows her faith will sustain her until the end of her life. It is just physically she is worried that the men will kill her before they realize that she will not say anything to them.

She hears the footsteps stop behind her this time the small voice of doubt creeps into her thoughts. '_Why am I holding out anyway? No one cares about me anymore.'_

A gloved hand touches her cheek and a low voice says her name._ 'Everyone that I have ever loved or cared about is either dead or has betrayed me.'_

The ropes that are holding her legs are cut away from the chair. _'Tali is dead, my mother is dead, I killed Ari, my father has betrayed me, Michael betrayed me, Tony killed Michael and Jethro chose Tony over me and left me behind.' _

She can't see out of her swollen eyes so she goes by sound and feel, which are impaired as well. She is carried out of the room by two people and laid on a softer surface. Ziva finally starts to panic. _'Why do I do this? Why do I hold on to these beliefs and disciplines I have been taught? Who am I fighting for anymore?'_

"Stop struggling, you will just hurt yourself worse." She feels water hit her mouth and tries to spit it out. Suddenly the voice of doubt and despair is replaced with the restored will to live _'I will not break. What I do is for a reason. I will uphold what I believe and what I have been taught.'_

A second set of hands now hold her legs. She can hear their voices yelling at her but she withdraws within herself and starts struggling harder. _'Jethro I forgive you. Tony I forgive you. Abby I will always miss you. Tim I wish I had never given you a hard time over your writing.' _

The voices call louder to her and hold her down harder. _'I do not know why you have led me down this path Lord. I trust that it has been for your service and somehow some good will come out of this. Please make this quick Lord._'

A single voice makes it through her haze of pain, "Ziver please stop struggling." _'Ziver? Only one person calls me Ziver.' _

A damp rag gently loosens the blood over her eyes. As Ziva slowly opens her eyes she chokes back a sob. "Gibbs, Tony how?"

"No time to explain now Ziva the evac helo will be here in one minute." Gibbs says cutting off the ropes on her hands.

"Tony I, I have to tell you."

"Later Ziva, we will talk later after you recover." Tony says helping Gibbs carry Ziva to the top of the building. She sees several men with their throats slit or necks broken lying on the floor along the way.

After three weeks of healing at a military hospital overseas, Ziva walks into the NCIS office. Abby runs toward her only to stop short and give her a gentle hug without touching the cast covering Ziva's broken arm. Ziva gently hugs Abby also, for the first time ever.

"Tim I read your latest book while I was recovering. I think it is going to flare up the charts." Ziva says walking carefully over to Tim's desk.

"Thanks Ziva, I think you mean zoom but I'll take flare. You've never liked my books." Tim says giving Ziva a gentle hug which she returns.

"I like this one Tim. Gibbs" Ziva says as she walks over to her boss's desk. Looking him straight in the eyes she says, "I understand that you had no choice because I left you no choice."

Ziva walks back over to Tony who has stood and walked around his desk, Ziva looks straight into his eyes, "I forgive you Tony and I love you too."

"Ziva what has changed?" Gibbs asks in amazement.

"The path that I was forced to follow made me realize what was truly important in my life." Ziva says looking around the bullpen, "The thoughts of my faith and my real family are the only things that kept me going when I left and then when I was captured and tortured. I have realized how much I love all of you. I will never take anything for granted again."

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A/N – I just had to fix that finale. I also had a harder time writing this than any other of this series. I just hope y'all like it. Please let me know.


	5. Verse Four

Version two of 4th verse 23rd psalm

Disclaimer—I do not own NCIS, the characters or much anything else for that matter. What I do have are my dreams and my imagination. Spoiler Warnings for the entire show from beginning to this season's end. I also firmly believe in a writers claim to artistic freedom. I have tried to stick to what I know is canon in these stories, but sometimes in order for the story to really work I will need a little wiggle room. So I won't ask forgiveness, just patience and a little understanding. Please see the Prologue for other explanations.

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Verse Four—Leroy Jethro Gibbs

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_Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me._

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Driving away from the funeral Jethro is glad that no one had needed a ride home. He wants to be alone. The funeral had been nice, the flowers were beautiful but he knows that it is all just a huge show. It is all a farce and a façade for the living because the dead are dead. How many people has he seen die? How many have died because of him? How much can Death take from him? He asks himself these questions over and over as he aimlessly drives on the freeway. He finally sees a familiar exit and pulls off the highway and eventually stops the car in the parking lot near the beach.

Slowly getting out of the car, he walks over to the huge tree lying on its side in the sand. He can't believe the tree is still here after all the years of storms that should have moved it. He remembers sitting on this exact log and holding his service pistol in his hands.

But that had not been the first time he had faced death and felt the loss of a family member, a dear friend or a fellow worker. Jethro Gibbs can practically measure his life by the losses in it.

The first death that he had ever experienced was that of his mother. When she died he felt the loss of both his childhood and his innocence of the world. Life could no longer hold the same happy glow for him without the stable influence of his mother. It wasn't long before he was an angry teenager joining the Marines.

As a sniper he was responsible for the death of many enemies on the orders of others but each bullet seemed to take a chip out of his soul anyway. He had seen so many men and buddies die in Panama and Desert Storm and each of them took a bit more of him with them. It was something that most all of the men tried to fill with beer and sad country songs after drinking a toast to the fallen and smashing the glasses. The worst gouge had been when Lt. David Cameron had bled to death in his arms. That death had even managed to come back to literally haunt him many years later.

The largest and most painful loss that death has ever taken from Leroy Jethro Gibbs was when he was informed that his wife, Shannon, and 8 year old daughter Kelly had been murdered while he was serving his country so far away from home. As he had stood beside Shannon's grave he had lost his heart. The love of his life was buried in the ground. When he looked at his daughter's grave he lost his faith in God. He couldn't understand how a loving God could let a child die like that, or how a supposed merciful Father would take his whole family away from him. Jethro realizes that he lost his mind for a while or he would have never had contemplated joining his family the way he had that afternoon sitting on this very log.

Gibbs looks up at the gulls following a shipping boat back to port. Picking up a small stone he throws it into the bay and lets himself slip back into remembering the pieces of himself that have been taken by deaths in his life.

He has seen plenty of agents die during his long career at NCIS. But the first agent that had really gotten to him had been Chris Pacci. He felt that a piece of his happiness at work had been taken and replaced by guilt. Gibbs had been too busy chasing Ari to help Chris with a question about a cold case. That case had lead to Chris' death and the nagging guilt which surrounded Gibbs for some time.

The death of one of his own team had cut him to the bone and Death had taken a great deal of the joy of his work from him. He had had so many plans for Caitlin Todd. All professional of course, she was too pure for any other such thoughts, and too young. But he could see himself training her to one day being a top investigator at NCIS; and maybe above and beyond that job. She had the make up to be the best agent he had ever seen. Gibbs stands up from the log and slowly begins to walk the deserted beach lit by the afternoon sun. Silent tears fall that still come whenever he starts letting himself think about the things death has taken from him.

When Agent Paula Cassidy had died in an explosion in the same building that had claimed the life of the rest of her team just days before, Death had also taken something from him. Death had taken some of his joy with his friend and Senior field agent Tony DiNozzo. Having to witness Tony watch his former girlfriend being blown up on the other side of a wall and being so emotionally hurt by it; really hurt Jethro even if he didn't really admit it to anyone else.

Jethro stops walking as he reaches a small pier. He takes off his dress shoes and socks and sits down and hangs his feet off the edge into the water. A boat with a couple slowly sails by and Gibbs smiles to himself at the loving way the woman has her arms around her man at the back of the boat. His mind suddenly flashes to the next in the series of times death has taken people from his life. Jen, his favorite nickname for her, or at least the only one he had been allowed to call her in public. When she had been murdered in a shootout in the desert of California, the only part of him that had a hope of falling in love again died with her too. Jenny had started out as his Probie agent, then partner and then lover. When she had left him he had moved on but had never forgotten his love for her. Her sudden reappearance six years later as Director of NCIS had thrown his heart for a loop. He had done his best to keep his reawakened feelings to himself throughout the time she served as director, but the flashes of them in the throes of passion sometimes flashed through his mind. The last shreds of his heart were buried with her in that coffin.

The sun is setting and sparkling off the Chesapeake Bay. The pecking of tiny minnows pulls Gibbs out of his memories and he wipes his wet cheeks. He stands up and dries his feet off with his handkerchief. As he pulls on his socks and shoes he thinks back to the next two times death has visited his life and what it took from him.

That time his judgment and confidence had taken a hit he wasn't sure he has recovered from yet. He had recommended Brent Langer's move to NCIS from the FBI. When Michelle Lee had shot Langer and exposed him as the possible mole in NCIS Gibbs experienced something for the first time in his life. Ducky had tried to call his friends hand on it but Gibbs had to realize it for himself. Langer's death had taken his "gut", his confidence, his instinct he had always trusted to keep him and his team safe.

Agent Michelle Lee had betrayed her country, NCIS and him. She had also made him do something he never thought he would; knowingly and willing shoot a woman. In the brief seconds that she had given him permission to shoot, her eyes had gone from foe back to friend. Leroy Jethro Gibbs had passed the shooting of a woman on to a team mate before, with dire future consequences. Gibbs felt a huge piece of his humanity ripped from him as Agent Lee took her last breath and he removed her badge.

The last rays of the sun outline a woman waiting beside his car twirling a black lace parasol. As much as Death has taken from his life she has always been his comfort and strength for over a decade reminding him of a time long ago.

Jethro remembers when as a very young child he had asked his mother to explain the message the preacher had delivered that Sunday morning. The sermon had tried to put into plainer words the meaning of the 23rd Psalm. At the family dinner table young Leroy asked his mother why people shouldn't be afraid of the valley of the shadow of death and just how did God put a rod and staff into people's lives to comfort them. His mother had stopped eating the Sunday meal and reached over and pulled her son into her lap.

"_Now Leroy, what I feel God means by that verse is that we shouldn't be scared when someone around us dies. We are left here to live and rejoice that our loved one is in Heaven. Do you understand that part?"_

"_Is that like when Mrs. Uland died next door, her husband said he would be ok because she was going to be waiting in heaven for him?"_

"_Yes son." His mother kisses his head softly._

"_But what about the rod and staff part comforting him and giving him strength?" Leroy asks playing with the lace on his mother's dress._

"_We are the rod and staff the Good Lord provides Leroy. When we took food to his house and we went to the funeral we helped comfort him. Now when we still check on him to make sure he is doing ok we give him strength. God uses us to give strength and comfort to others. And someday when you are walking down that dark valley you will have friends to help give you strength and to comfort you so you can make it through the darkness."_

"_I understand now Momma. I love you."_

"How long have you been here?"Jethro asks as he wipes the fresh tears from his face while walking up to his car.

"Just an hour and one CafPow." She answers putting her arms around him.

"You didn't have to wait this long." He says returning her hug.

"You gonna be alright Gibbs?" She asks letting him lean into her embrace.

"I'm gonna be just fine now." He pulls her closer, "I'm gonna be ok."


End file.
